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Finest News

Child Expelled for Marmalade Sandwich

FRANKFORT, KY—The school board at a local elementary school has expelled a boy who brought in a marmalade sandwich. The boy, 9-year-old T...
Microsoft Unveils Best Windows 10 Feature

REDMOND, WA—Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has unveiled “the best feature Windows 10 has to offer, hands-down.” On top of the various new feat...
Local Gardener Has Big Dreams

MIAMI, FL—A local gardener is planning on becoming the first “garden serial killer” in Miami. Troy Baskwell, a 62-year old gardener born ...
Kanye West Selling Toenail Clippings

CALABASAS, CA—Singer-songwriter Kanye West is in the process of selling his toenail clippings. Earlier this month, we posted an article ...
Local Dog Shits on Donald Trump’s Campaign Poster

AUSTIN, TX—A local dog has successfully taken a shit on Donald Trump’s campaign poster while walking to the dog park. The dog, named Fluf...

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