Child Expelled for Marmalade Sandwich

FRANKFORT, KY—The school board at a local elementary school has expelled a boy who brought in a marmalade sandwich. The boy, 9-year-old Taylor Parker, unpacked his lunch and a teacher caught a glimpse of something unusual in his sandwich. “It looked a lot like jelly. When I got closer, I saw that it was orange.” After the teacher, Mr. Brown, noticed the odd color, he asked Taylor what it was. When he learned that it was in fact marmalade, he brought the boy to the principal’s office. “Here in Kentucky, we have a strict zero-tolerance policy for marmalade. Ever since the Great Marmalade Incident of 1823, it’s been illegal to manufacture, buy, or sell marmalade.” Upon learning of his expulsion, his parents grounded Taylor for a year. Since he’s in third grade, his history class has definitely covered the Great Marmalade Incident of 1823. An ongoing investigation is underway to find the manufacturer of the marmalade, as Taylor confessed to purchasing it.