Bridge in Construction from California to Hawaii

SAN FRANSICO, CA—To make traveling to Hawaii easier and more affordable, state politicians in California have passed a bill allowing for the construction of a bridge from the smoggy state many miles away to Hawaii. The construction will start in January 2016 and is estimated to cost over $19 billion. Don’t worry, though, that cost will be covered by your tax dollars. That’s right, you’ll be paying for a bridge in a state that you probably don’t live in that’s connected to a state that you’d rather fly to. Now would be the time to start learning tax evasion tactics. Local Hawaiians aren’t too fond of the idea either because they will likely see a massive increase in tourism. “We get enough tourism as it is,” Hawaii governor David Ige stated. “With this bridge, we’ll be getting a lot more, and we hate tourists. We hope most of them will be eaten by sharks.” We don’t know if shark attacks are very common in Hawaii, but we’ve also heard that Ige has spent over $3 million in shark purchases alone, so keep your eyes peeled if you plan on getting in the drink.