Deer Wants New Occupation

WISCONSIN DELLS, WI—A white-tailed deer at a local deer park claims he wants a new occupation. The five-year-old deer has decided that it “no longer wants to be a deer.” He claims that he’s been at the park his entire life, and he desperately wants to return to the forest where there’s a great chance that he’ll be shot and eaten for dinner. The park owner has stated that all deer living in the park are extremely happy, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. “The park owner is a liar. I hate it here, but he won’t let me leave. We’re planning to go on strike.” If the deer get their way, then the owner will have to fulfill their demands. Some of the deer will likely stay, but this deer, in particular, would much rather be shot to death. Most of the other deer we’ve asked like it at the park, because they can lie in one place and be fed by the park visitors.