Pluto Sad It’s Not a Planet

SPACE—Thanks to a recent flyby from the New Horizons satellite that launched 9 and a half years ago, the International Astronomical Union (IAU) learned that Pluto is not so happy that it got its planetary title revoked. If you are at all familiar with planet anatomy, the heart of the planet is in its core, but not Pluto’s. It a last ditch effort to prove that it’s a planet, Pluto used mass quantities of energy to push its heart to the surface. “I’ve been considered a planet for a long time,” Pluto told us. “When they revoked my status, I was heartbroken. This’ll show the IAU that I am indeed a planet.” All eight planets in our solar system have confirmed hearts in their core, but since Pluto is so far away, it was impossible to tell. Now, thanks to the New Horizons satellite, it’s clear that it has a heart. This new information should definitely reunite Pluto with its planetary status once again, and if not, Pluto told us “it will create a petition.”